As I began to eat, members of the family all said to me, "Just have what you like; help yourself." At the same time, however, they continued to give me some of every dish. Everything was delicious, to be sure. But there were three or four dishes I particularly liked. I tended to eat more of those.
For the other dishes, I finished whatever the family gave to me, even when I didn't want any more. Each time I did, though, the family would give me more, thinking that by eating all of a dish, I was indicating that I wanted to continue eating that dish.
Moreover, every time we had nearly finished a dish, they replenished it from the kitchen. I explained that in the United States, "seeing the bottom" of all the plates is the ideal ending to a meal; it means that the guest has thoroughly enjoyed the meal. Clearly, in China "seeing the bottom" of a dish is a sign that the hosts have not prepared enough.
That meal left a deep impression on me. Having spent nearly three years in China, I'm now quite used to the unique elements of Chinese hospitality. I've come to realize that while both Americans and Chinese are warm and gracious hosts, Americans and Chinese tend to show their warmth in very different ways.