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What and how much the host orders for his guests is generally taken as a reflection of regard in which the host holds the guests. Chinese hosts tend, therefore, to order high quality dishes and in great quantity. On many occasions, Chinese working contacts have invited me to dinner, saying, "David, just order what you like. This dinner is very informal," whereupon I have ordered things like kung-pao chicken, home-style tofu, or spinach with garlic, a few very simple dishes. The host would then laugh and say, "N., no. How about some steamed crab or prawns? Maybe a fish… " to the Chinese mind, if the host were to order the dishes I suggested, he would lose face. Quantity is equally important. Chinese tend to order (and in their own homes, prepare )
much, much more food than the number of people attending can reasonably
be expected to eat. When there is a lot of food left over at the end of
the meal, the host can be assured that she had ordered a sufficient quantity.
Of course, over the years, this practice has resulted in an incalculable
amount of wasted food (though, thankfully, the trend in recent years seems
to be toward taking food home). But the persistence of this emphasis on
quantity bespeaks the continued importance of considerations of face.Finally, there is the question of paying the bill. When the roles of host and guest are clearly defined, as is always the case on formal occasions, this isn't an issue. The hosts typically remain on for a few minutes after the guests have departed and pay the bill. When the occasion is less formal, however, such as when a few friends get together for a meal, the payment of the bill becomes a matter of face. As the bill is brought to the table, one or more of the persons attending the dinner will insist on paying it. I have seen two friends struggle so aggressively to pay the bill, each pulling money from his pocket and pushing back the outstretched arm of the other, that an onlooker could have easily mistaken the scene for a fist - fight. This type of scene is commonplace in restaurants across the country, another striking testament to the importance of face in the context of dining. |
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