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If someone is said to have "yin si," meddlers will be attracted to pry into his or her affairs. So people always state that they don't have "yin si." On the contrary, Americans often declare their intention to protect their privacy. Their understanding of privacy is that others have no right to pry into things which belong to themselves alone and have nothing to do with others. One who is too nosy and who spreads rumors is said to violate the right to privacy. In the evening, Sonia and I went to a bar for dinner. In China, when people mention bars, debauchery usually comes to mind. But here, the bar was a quiet and tastefully laid out place. People spoke quite softly, afraid of interrupting their neighbors, and sat face to face as they drank, sometimes three or five persons sitting together. This sort of atmosphere was totally different from my preconception, so I wanted to take a picture. Sonia stopped me: "Don't you see these people are pouring out their hearts? Maybe they are colleagues, friends, secret lovers . They came here looking for a peaceful place free from interruption by others. They wouldn't want to leave any trace of their having come here. So taking their pictures would be a serious violation of their right to privacy." Is there privacy between husband and wife? One of Sonia's friends married a talented Chinese man, but recently she became so angry that she wanted a divorce. The reason was that her husband had opened one of her letters and looked through her purse. The husband didn't realize that this is not tolerated in the U.S. He thought being a couple was like being one person; why couldn't he see the letter or the contents of the purse? Truly, everyone, even those living as a couple, needs room - not only in three-dimensional space, but in the heart. |
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隐私意识 
英语中的"privacy"在中文里被译成"隐私"。在人们的习惯观念中，隐私似乎与不光明正大联系在一起。如果说谁有了隐私，便会招来好事者去打探，于是人们常常表白：我没有隐私。 美国人则公然宣扬要保护自己的privacy,他们对该词的理解是：凡是属于我自己的与他人无关的事，别人就无权过问，如果谁蓄意打听并传播，便是侵犯了隐私权。 晚上，我和索妮娅到一间酒吧用晚餐。过去，一提酒吧二字，总与灯红酒绿的色情业联系在一起，美国的酒吧却是安静幽雅的地方，人们无论是两两对酌，还是三五共桌，都是细声慢语，唯恐惊扰邻座。既然与我们传统观念相悖，便想拍一张照片，却遭到索妮娅阻拦：君不见人们边叙边饮，一倾衷肠，他们可能是同事、朋友、恋人，说不定也有婚外恋，他们来到这里就是想找一个不受他人干扰的"静"土共度一段时光，但决不希望留下什么。如果对着他们拍照，那就是对隐私的极大冒犯。 夫妻间还有没有隐私？索妮娅的一个朋友嫁了一位很有才气的中国郎君，最近却怒火中烧，原来是丈夫拆看她的信件，翻找她的提包，这在美国的夫妻关系中是决不能容忍的。但是丈夫却浑然不觉：既然是夫妻了，彼此不是像一个人一样? 有什么不能看的？ 其实，每个人都需要一块自己的天地，不仅在三维空间上，也在心灵中，即使是朝久相处的家庭成员之间。 More... |
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