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开心布丁

 




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He Swore to Die

"If you refuse to marry me," he swore, "I shall die." She refused him.
  He died sixty years later.





他发誓要死

“你如果拒绝和我结婚,” 他发誓说,“我就要死。”她拒绝了他。 六十年以后,他死了。



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Improvement

one student to another: "How are your English lessons coming along?"
   "Fine. I used to be the one who couldn't understand Englishmen, and now it's Englishmen who can't understand me."




进步

一位学生对另一位说:“你的英语最近学的怎么样了?”
“很好,我过去不懂英国人说话,可现在是英国人不懂我的话了。”



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Somebody

First man: In my house I'm really somebody.
  Second man: Is that so?
  First man: Yes. Every night my wife calls out from the kitchen, "Will somebody take out the garbage?"





人物

第一位男人:我在家里确实是一个人物。
第二位男人:真是这样吗?
第一位男人:是的,每天晚上我妻子都在厨房里喊“来一个人把垃圾拿出去。”


 


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Relative By Marriage

A husband and wife drove for miles in silence after a terrible argument in which neither would budge. The husband pointed to a mule in a pasture. "Relative of yours?" he asked. "Yes," she replied. "By marriage."





婆家的亲戚

一对夫妻开着车出去,走了很长一段时间谁也不吭声。因为在这之前他们曾争吵得很历害,谁也不肯让步。丈夫指着牧场上的一头骡子问道:“是你的亲戚吗?”“是的,”妻子回答,“是婆家的亲戚。”


 


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Ear Short

I thought my wife, Barbara, was losing her hearing, so one day I decided to test it. I quietly walked in the front door and stood 30 feet behind her, "Barbara," I said, "can you hear me?" There was no response, so I moved to 20 feet behind her behind her, "Barbara," I repeated, "can you hear me ?" Still no reply. I advanced to 10 feet and asked, "Now can you hear me?" "Yes, dear," Barbara answered. "For the third time, yes!"





耳聋

我以为我的妻子芭芭拉耳聋了。有一天,我想证明一下,我轻轻走进前门,站在她后面三十英尺的地方,“芭芭拉,”我说,“你听得见我吗?”她没有回答。所以我又走过去一些,站在她后面二十英尺的地方,“芭芭拉,”我重复道,“你听得见我吗?”还是没有回答。我又往前到了只有十英尺的地方,我问:“现在听得见吗?”“是的,亲爱的,”芭芭拉说,“我已经说了第三遍了。”