笑话-开心布丁-休闲区-轻松英语-洪恩在线

　　　　　　　　　
I Didn't Notice It

Mother: I left two pieces of cake in the cupboard this morning,
　　 Johnny, and now there is only one piece left. Can you explain that? Johnny: Well, I suppose it was so dark that I didn't notice the other.

我没看到它

妈妈：约翰尼，我今天早上在橱子里放了两块点心。现在就剩下一块了。你能解释一下吗？约翰尼：哦，我想是因为里面太黑我没看到另外那块。

　　　　　　　　　
To Patch the Hole

A young man came home from work and found his bride upset. "I feel terrible," she said. "I was pressing your suit and I burned a big hole in the seat of your trousers."
　　 "Forget it," consoled her husband. "Remember that I've got an extra pair of pants for that suit."
　　 "Yes," said the woman, cheering up. "And it's lucky you have. I used them to patch the hole."

补洞

丈夫下班回到家里，发现自己的新娘心绪烦乱。“我心里太难受了，”她说。“我在给你熨西装时把裤子的臀部烧了个大洞。”
“没事儿，”丈夫安慰她说。“你忘了我这套衣服有两条裤子。”
“是的，”妻子高兴地说，“幸亏你还有一条，我后来就用它来补了这个洞了。”

　　　　　　　　　
A Pledge

Grandpa was celebrating his 100th birthday, and everyone was complimenting him on how well he looked.
　　 "I'll tell you the secret," he said. "My wife and I were married seventy-five years ago. On our wedding night we made a pledge that whenever we had a fight, the one who was proved wrong would go out and take a walk. I have been in the open air continuously for the past seventy-five years.

誓约

爷爷过一百岁生日，大家都祝贺他，说他看上去很健康。
“我来告诉你们这里的秘密，”他说，“我和妻子结婚七十五年了。在新婚之夜我们订了一个誓约，那就是无论我们什么时候发生争吵，谁被证明是错了的，谁就到外面去散一圈步。我已经在外面一直呆了七十五年了。”

　　　　　　　　　
Stupid Orders

When Nasreddin was a boy, he never did what he was told, so his father always told him to do the opposite of what he wanted him to do.
　　 One day, when the two were bringing sacks of flour home on their donkeys, they had to cross a shallow river. When they were in the middle of it, one of the sacks on Nasreddin's donkey began to slip, so his father said, "That sack is nearly in the water! Press down hard on it!" His father of course expected that he would do the opposite, but this time Nasreddin did what his father had told him to do. He pressed down on the sack and it went under water. Of course, the flour was lost.
　　 "What have you done, Nasreddin," his father shouted angrily.
　　 "Well, father," said Nasreddin. "This time I thought that I would do just what you told me to show you how stupid your orders always are."

愚蠢的命令

当纳斯雷金还是个孩子时，从来不按照别人所说的去做。所以他爸爸想要他去做某事时，常叫他做相反的事。
一天，父子俩用毛驴驮着几袋面粉往家走，路上必须经过一条不深的小河。父子俩走到河中心时，纳斯雷金牵的那头毛驴上有一袋面粉开始往下滑了。他爸爸说：“那个袋子快掉进水里了，使劲往下按！”他爸爸当然是希望他象以往一样，干和他所说的相反的事。可这次纳斯雷金却按照他爸爸所说的去做了。他使劲一按，袋子沉进水里了。当然，这袋面也没有了。
他爸爸愤怒地喊道：“你干的什么事！”
纳斯雷金说：“嗯，爸爸，这次我想按你所要求的去做，好证明你以往的命令是多么的愚蠢。”

　　　　　　　　　
Clever Bobby

Brown was very proud of his young son. Once he was talking to a visitor, telling the man how clever his son was.
　　 "The boy is only two years old," he said, "and knows all animals. He's going to be a great naturalist. Here, let me show you."
　　 He took a book of natural history from the bookshelf, placed Bobby on his knee, opened the book and showed him a picture of a giraffe.
"What's that, Bobby?" "
　　 Horsey, " said Bobby. Next of a tiger was shown, and Bobby said, "Pussy." Then Brown showed Bobby a picture of lion, and Bobby said, "Doggy." And when a picture of a chimpanzee was shown, Bobby said, "Daddy!"

聪明的博比

布朗非常欣赏他的小儿子。一次他和一位客人聊他的儿子有多聪明。布朗说：“他只有两岁，就认识所有的动物了。他长大一定会是一个出色的自然学家。来，我让你看看。”
他从书架上拿下一本自然书，把博比抱到膝上，打开书。指着一张长颈鹿的画片。
“博比，这是什么？” “马马，”博比回答。他又指了一张老虎的画片，博比回答说：“猫咪。” 然后布朗又指了一张狮子的画片，博比说：“狗狗。” 他又指了一张黑猩猩的画片，博比说：“爸爸！” [注]horsey: 马（儿语） pussy：猫咪（儿语）