Who Should Be Given the Present?

A father of five came home with a toy, summoned his children and asked which one of them should be given the present, "Who is the most obedient, never talks back to mother and does everything he or she is told?" he inquired. There was silence and then a chorus of voices: "You play with it, Daddy!"

　　　　　　　

Big Head

"All the kids make fun of me," The boy cried to his mother. "They say I have a big head."
　　"Don't listen to them," his mother consoled. "You have a beautiful head. Now stop crying and go to the store for ten pounds of potatoes."
　　"Where's the shopping bag?"
　　"I haven't got one, use your hat."

To Open the Door

Leaving my four-year-old son in the house, I ran out to throw something in the trash. When I tried to open the door to get back inside, it was locked. I knew that insisting that my son open the door would have been resulted in an hour-long battle of wills. So in a sad voice, I said, "Oh, too bad. You just locked yourself in the house."
　　The door opened at once.

　　　　　　　　　
Bedtime Prayers

Julie was saying her bedtime prayers. "Please God," she said, "Make Naples the capital of Italy."
　　Her mother interrupted and said. "Julie, why do you want God to make Naples the capital of Italy?" And Julie replied,
　　"Because that's what I put in my geography exam!"

　　　　　　　　　
Where Are Ours?

The following discussion took place between my husband and nine-year-old son:
　　"It's not fair, Dad. Mom wants me to make my bed, but I don't know how."
　　"It's time you learned. Where are your clean sheets?"
　　"I don't know."
　　"What do you mean you don't know? You need to keep track of your things.
　　"Where are Michael's sheets?" my husband called to me.
　　"Right next to ours," I replied.
　　After a prolonged silence, my husband asked, "Where are ours?"