笑话-开心布丁-休闲区-轻松英语-洪恩在线

　　　　　　　

Jim's History Examination

Uncle: How did Jim do his history examination?
　　Mother: Oh, not at all well, but there, it wasn't his fault. Why, they asked him things that happened before the poor boy was born.

吉姆的历史考试

舅舅：吉姆这孩子历史考得怎么样？
母亲：唉，糟透了。可话又说回来，这也不能怪他。嗨，他们尽问一些这个可怜的孩子出生前的事儿。

　　　　　　　

The Father and His Son

Father: You know, Tom, when Lincoln was your age, he was a very good pupil. In fact, he was the best pupil in his class.
　　Tom: Yes, Father. I know that. But when he was your age, he was President of the United States.

父与子

父亲：汤姆，你要知道，当林肯在你这年龄时，他是一个很好的学生。事实上，他是班里最好的学生。
汤姆：是的，爸爸，我知道，可当他在你这个年龄时，他已是美国总统了。

Regret

Little George was crying one day, and his dad asked him why.
　　"I've lost 5 pence," sobbed George.
　　"Never mind," said his dad kindly, "Here's another 5 pence for you."
　　At which George howled louder that ever.
　　"Now what is it?" asked his dad.
　　"I wish I'd said I'd lost 10 pence!"

后悔

一天乔治哭了，他爸爸问他怎么了。
“我丢了五便士，”乔治哭着说。
“没关系，”爸爸和蔼地说。“我再给你五便士。”
但乔治哭得比以前更响了。
“这是怎么了？”爸爸问。
“我后悔刚才没说丢了十便士。”

　　　　　　　　　
A Birthday Present

Annie: Mum, do you know what I'm going to give you for your birthday?
　　Mum: No, dear, what is it?
　　Annie: A nice teapot.
　　Mum: But I've got a nice teapot.
　　Annie: No, you haven't. I've just dropped it!

生日礼物

安妮：妈妈，你知道你过生日我会送你什么礼物吗？
妈妈：亲爱的，我猜不出来，是什么东西呀？安妮：一个漂亮的茶壶。
妈妈：可我有一个很好的茶壶了。
安妮：不，你没有。我刚把它掉在地上摔了。

　　　　　　　　　
Wedding

Mrs. Jones and her little daughter Karen were outside the church watching all the comings and goings of a wedding. After the photographs had been taken, everyone had driven off to the reception and all the excitement was over. Karen said to her mother, "Why did the bride change her mind, Mummy?"
　　"What do you mean, change her mind?" asked Mrs. Jones.
　　"Well," said the child, "She went into the church with one man and came out with another!"

婚礼

一场婚礼在教堂举行，琼斯夫人和她的小女儿卡伦在教堂外边看热闹。人们照完像后都开着车去参加婚礼宴会了，一切激动的事都结束了，这时卡伦问妈妈：“妈妈，新娘子怎么变主意了？” “变主意了？你指的是什么？” 琼斯夫人问。 “嗯，”孩子说，“她进教堂时和一个男人，出来时又是和另一个男人！ [注] 进教堂时新娘由其父亲或女家的男子陪伴，出来时则是由新郎陪伴。