As a large, impressive funeral was passing, a man on the
pavement watching it go by asked a small boy, "Who's dead?"
"Chap in the coffin," said the boy.
A boy was sitting on a street corner fishing into a bucket.
A kind-hearted old lady passing took pity on him, so she gave him
a 5p piece. "How many have you caught today?" she asked.
"You're the seventh," said the boy smugly.
An old man and a young lad were sitting on opposite benches
in the park. Suddenly the old man leaned across and shouted, "It's
no use your talking to me from over there. I'm deaf."
"I'm not talking to you," the boy shouted back. "I'm chewing bubblegum."
As two boys were passing the vicarage, the vicar leaned
over the wall and showed them a ball. "Is this yours?" he asked.
"Did it do any damage, vicar?" said one of the boys.
"No," replied the vicar.
"Then it's mine."
Dick's mother made it a rule that if he came to the dinner table late he was not to speak a single word during the meal. Yesterday he arrived, as usual, after everybody had sat down.
As soon as he entered the room he began with, "I say, mother..." but his mother quickly reminded him of the rule.
" But, mother..." he persisted.
"Not a word," said the stern parent who meant the rule to be enforced. When dinner was over his mother asked what he wanted to say. "Oh, I only wanted to say, mother, that my little sister had fallen into the water."
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