笑话-开心布丁-休闲区-轻松英语-洪恩在线

　　　　　　　

I'm the Driver

The bus was crowded, and as one more man tried to get on, the passengers wouldn't let him aboard.
　　"It's too crowded." They shouted. "Who do you think you are?"
　　"I'm the driver," the man answered.

我是司机

公共汽车上非常拥挤，但还是有一个男子想上车，乘客们就是不让他上来。
“太挤了，”他们喊道，“你以为你是谁　？”
“我是司机。”那人回答。

　　　　　　　

Three Deaf Men

Three rather deaf old friends met one day in the street.
　　"Windy, isn't it?" said one.
　　"No, it's Thursday," said the second.
　　"So am I," said the third. "Let's go and have a
cup of tea."

三个聋子

一天，三个聋朋友在街上相遇。“今天有风，对不对？”第一个人说。“不，今天是星期四，”第二个人说道。“我也是，”第三个聋子说，“咱们去喝杯茶吧。”
[注]windy 被误听为了Wednesday，Thursday被误听为thirsty（口渴）。

Nicy's Wish

Drunkard Nicy said to the policeman, "I want to meet the thief who slipped into my room last night."
　　The policeman asked, "Why on earth?"
　　Nicy answered, "I want to ask for advice. What
kind of way did he use when he entered the room but
not wake up my wife?"

尼希的愿望

醉汉尼希对警察说：“我想见见昨天夜里溜进我家里的那个小偷。” 警察问道：“这到底是为什么？” 尼希回答说：“我想向他取取经。他溜进我家时没有弄醒我妻子，到底用的什么方法？”

　　　　　　　　　
Two Pieces of News

Tom sat in his attorney's office. "Do you want the bad news first or the terrible news?" the lawyer said. 　　"Give me the bad news first." Tom replied.
　　"Your wife found a picture worth a half-million dollars."
　　"What's the terrible news?" asked Tom. " I can't
wait to hear it."
　　"The terrible news is that it's of you and your secretary."

两条消息

汤姆坐在律师事务所里。“你是想先知道坏消息还是更坏的消息呢　？”律师问道。 “先告诉我坏消息。”汤姆回答。 “你妻子发现了一张价值50万美元的照片　。” “那更坏的消息是什么呢？”汤姆又问道，“我想立刻就知道　。” “更坏的消息是那张照片是有关你和你的秘书的。”

　　　　　　　　　
My Warship Is Your Wife

A young man in a new navy uniform was led into the office. The captain asked him, "Are you married, my child?"
　　"No, but I am engaged."
　　"In fact you needn't get married," said the captain, "My warship is your wife. She offers you food and room, and builds up your body and keeps you healthy, and introduces you many friends... What else do you need?"
　　"Divorce!"

我的军舰就是你的妻子

一名身着心海军制服的青年被领进了办公室。上校问他，“小伙子，你结婚了吗？” “还没有，不过我已经订婚了　。” “事实上你没有必要结婚，”上校说道，“我的军舰就是你的妻子，她给你提供食物和房间，锻炼你得体质，使你身体健康，还能为你介绍好多朋友……你还需要什么呢？”
“离婚！”